Your overloaded mind is creating The Vitality Gap

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The Vitality Gap happens when life takes more than it gives back. It carries a performance cost. Once you see it you can’t un-see it.

I like sociologist Allison Daminger’s definition of cognitive load, which she breaks into four stages: anticipating needs, identifying options, making decisions and monitoring outcomes.

This definition leaves me with one question: when are you not doing this?  It explains so much about where your time and energy go over the course of the day.  The mental exhaustion it brings is problematic on its own, but it carries a secondary cost when it comes to The Vitality Gap. 

I, like you, have a personal expertise in cognitive load. Until I became more aware of the pattern, I can say what I experienced came from external sources and some I created on my own.  The external sources are all of the extractive systems I have in my life and you have in yours, like parenting, work, caregiving, your community; all of the places that carry a role and responsibility.

Daminger’s four stages pinpoint the processes you follow as a leader, a mom, a daughter. It’s a wheel that keeps turning, perpetuated by roles we choose or that choose us. The gravity of the thing doesn’t matter. Whether it’s preparing for a day at the beach or making sure your team is ready for the presentation, Daminger’s cycle applies. 

But it doesn’t end there. For me, I can see how it became a habit. When I could have decided to be in the moment and detach, I would be onto the next thing, choosing to plug into Daminger’s cycle instead. That’s hyper-optimization mode. I see this as being so used to relying on your competence that you find reasons to do so, prioritizing the outcome over the experience. Recognizing this pattern freed me from some of the burden I carried.

This all matters because the greater your cognitive load the less decision making capacity you have for anything else. And, by “anything else” I mean you. The Vitality Gap calls you to make decisions about how to shape your time to benefit you. But, when your cognitive load is too great, you give up before you even start.   

So, you end up numbing, turning to whatever the nearest screen can offer you, whatever substance you gravitate toward and you crumble onto the couch, thinking that’s all you have the energy to do. Then, life kicks in again and you get back at it without having built your resources to handle it. You start to feel tired as a way of life and overrely on your self discipline to push through. And The Vitality Gap gets wider the more you do this.

When The Vitality Gap widens, it doesn’t self repair. If you leave it alone you’re not being strong. Since The Vitality Gap brings a performance cost, you’re actually weakening yourself. You become less present, less strategic, less creative. You can’t access your full capacity.   

To do what matters most, you have to interrupt the pattern.

Tagging you in

Now you know Daminger’s four phases: anticipating, identifying, deciding, monitoring. This week, apply them to see where your time and attention go. 

Where are you running all four phases? Are you doing this solo? Are you pursuing a goal you really care about or are you falling into a habit? 

If you’re carrying it alone, how can you share it? 

If it’s a habit, how frequently does this kick in?  

For me the cost of my cognitive load was too high to keep it up. What’s it for you?  

When you can recognize that some of your mental load is assigned and some you pick up voluntarily, you can better identify the weight of it. It won’t clear the weight, but it will help you see it more plainly. 

And that’s when you can start addressing it.

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